EONS Highlights Blog: This blog will shine the spotlight on noteworthy EONS posts. Scroll down for previous posts.

Getting a kick out of a good marriage.

While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were covered with dark, savage bruises.

"Tell me," said the doctor, "Do you play hockey or soccer?"

"Neither," said the man. "My wife and I play bridge."

posted
by bigthoughts

Invisible

Posted by Divana

posted by roslyn217

Haunted

posted by Divana

Chicks

Friends

posted by Chessielee

Nail Biting

Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day.
"I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said.
"Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick."
"What did you do?"
"I hid his teeth!
posted by Bobby1137

God Bless the Children

One morning the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it.
The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said Quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'
'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque.
'Pastor, what is this?'
The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, 'Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?'

| posted by chatcat

A touch of country

Posted in EONS group "Country Music Fans"

Hiding from the sun

Taken in the Galapagos Islands
Added about 1 month ago by trirail.

A Solar Setting

posted by Divana

To bee or not to bee....

Tickets please....

Three Southerners and three Yankees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Yankees each buy a train ticket and watch as the three Southerners buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Yankee.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the Southerners.

They all board the train. The Yankees take their respective seats but all three Southerners cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand.

The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Yankees see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Yankees decide to copy the Southerners on the return trip and save some money (being tight with money, and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Southerners don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Yankee.

"Watch and you'll see," answers a Southerner.

When they board the train, the three Yankees cram into a restroom and the three Southerners cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the Southerners leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Yankees are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..." | posted by bigthoughts

It must be fall!

posted by Divana

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable." | posted by bigthoughts

The Slide

A Garden

posted by Divana

Football Helmet?

........
posted by MissPepr

Foggy in Southwest Iowa

It may be foggy here but it sure did help bring out the texture of this spider web in my backyard.


posted by ritak56

US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES

The Pentagon announced today the formation
of an elite fighting group called the US REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES
(USRSF). The boys, Cooter, Bubba, Hoss and Bo will be dropped behind
enemy lines and given the following information about the Iraqis: 1.
The season opened last weekend. 2. There is no limit. 3. They taste
just like chicken. 4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or
Jesus. 5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale
Earnhardt. Estimates are that the war should be over in about a week.

posted
by granddadd

Paul Newman Dies

Fox news just announced that Paul Newman died last night. He had been fighting cancer. We have lost one of the greats!


posted by jas1377

A Child's Viewpoint

High sill, Temple of Literature, Hanoi, Vietnam, 2007
Buddhist temples have doors set in very large frames, which almost always means a big step up when getting in or out of them. I spent about ten minutes watching tourists navigating this obstacle and made some fairly amusing images in the process. But none gave me more pleasure than this shot of a very small child struggling mightily to haul herself over the high doorsill. Everything works together here – the worn red door of this temple is hundreds of years old, while the young child has barely learned to walk. Her task is impossible, and her expression is intent. The determined eyes and open mouth say it all. And all the colors complement each other perfectly – pink is a variant of red, and the child wears pink right up to the tie on her hair. All of which tells us to hang around doors if we can – we never know what might come through them. ~Phil Douglis | posted by GaryJames

Autumn

A blazing house fire in Seaford Harbor sent smoke hundreds of feet into the air which was visible for mile. Two occupants of the house at the time of fire managed to escape, one with minor injures. The family dog, Autumn, was rescued by firefighters, give oxygen and returned to its owner. (Photo by Jack Healy / June 27, 2008)

One of my friends I use to work with is a volunteer firefighter and rescue member in the county. These men and women see a lot tragedy both in home fires and road accidents. You can see the joy on the faces of the brave rescue team as they hold Autumn. You know these are the type of memories they want to hold in their minds. ~gJ

Jump

posted by Bettedaviseyes

Cat Eyes

Image Surfing by KK

posted
by keenkat49



20

A Soldier's Salute

Posted in EONS group Viet Nam Vets

They carried P-38 can openers and heat tabs, watches and dog tags, insect repellent, gum, cigarettes, Zippo lighters, salt tablets, compress bandages, ponchos, Kool-Aid, two or three canteens of water,iodine tablets, sterno, LRRP- rations, and C-rations stuffed in socks.
They carried standard fatigues, jungle boots, bush hats, flak jackets and steel pots. They carried the M-16 assault rifle.
They carried trip flares and Claymore mines, M-60 machine guns, the M-70 grenade launcher, M-14’s, CAR-15’s, Stoners, Swedish K’s, 66mm Laws, shotguns, .45 caliber pistols, silencers, the sound of bullets, rockets, and choppers, and sometimes the sound of silence. They carried C-4 plastic explosives, an assortment of hand grenades, PRC-25 radios, knives and machetes.
Some carried napalm, CBU’s and large bombs; some risked their lives to rescue others. Some escaped the fear, but dealt with the death and damage.
Some made very hard decisions, and some just tried to survive. They carried malaria, dysentery, ringworms and leaches. They carried the land itself as it hardened on their boots. They carried stationery, pencils, and pictures of their loved ones - real and imagined.
They carried love for people in the real world and love for one another. And sometimes they disguised that love: “Don’t mean nothin’!”
They carried memories for the most part, they carried themselves with poise and a kind of dignity. Now and then, there were times when panic set in, and people squealed or wanted to, but couldn’t; when they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and said “Dear God” and hugged the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cringed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and made stupid promises to themselves and God and their parents, hoping not to die.
They carried the traditions of the United States Army, and memories and images of those who served before them.
They carried grief, terror, longing and their reputations. They carried the soldier’s greatest fear: the embarrassment of dishonor. They crawled into tunnels, walked point, and advanced under fire, so as not to die of embarrassment. They were afraid of dying, but too afraid to show it.
They carried the emotional baggage of men and women who might die at any moment.
They carried the weight of the world; they carried each other

Author Unknown

posted by wanderer46

Thoughts

# Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
# Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
# I'm not a complete idiot; Some parts are missing.
# Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
# God must love stupid people; He made so many.
# The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
# Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
# Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
posted by bigthoughts

How things work

"Do you know how to work this thing?" the General asks. "My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it."

"Yes, sir," says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the General, and feeds it in.

(PAUSE)

"Now," says the General, "I just need one copy....."


posted
by bigthoughts

Quote of the day

As we look deeply within, we understand our perfect balance. There is no fear of the cycle of birth, life and death. For when you stand in the present moment, you are timeless................... | posted by Grammajody